I believe its possible for someone to know, to know how they are going to pass. Maybe not the exact details but vague ideas. I think its possible to dream premonitions that are close to accurate to then sit for months worrying, if only. Sleep deserts you and dreams are not a safe haven.
I shall strive to
Do not fall into emotional slumps
Do not let people think they can control you
Stop skipping classes
Do not let people hurt you
For there are people to meet and more to see
Do not let shyness overcome you
What are you aiming to be?
This hurts me more than anything else. Im frail. I don’t want to lose you so I tell you how much I appreciate you all the time but Im afraid you either don’t believe me or I just say it too much.
I’ve lost too many people but thats how life is and many have told me that when they leave but it still hurts none the less.
Every time hardship comes by you have to break down to be able to build up harder and stronger.
Pulling away to have time to yourself, losing time in a night of hopeless drinking or crying your heart out to a trusted friend.. whatever the way may be…
You have to let it out,
let yourself break down,
before you can build yourself up whole again.
I am tired
Time alone must be cherished, appreciated,
all words that are positive because when you are alone,
it would be best to enjoy the company of oneself.
You have time fix weaknesses or just accept yourself,
maybe you are happy regardless…
I have done the addressing of weaknesses,
followed on with the fixing and whatever need be done, I am satisfied.
But I am past being alone, I have been alone for too long.
Bordering on loneliness,
I feel the energy outside pressing upon my chest
I forcefully suck the air in and let it back out but my breaths are short,
arrhythmic little bursts or air being snorted about.
Between sighs, smiles false and real, laughter reduced to exhalation.
I breathe on, I do not take this for granted for at least I am able.
Yet, my head hurts and my mind grows cacophonous,
with thoughts I do not want to have;
voices telling those thoughts to subside.
And myself consciously trying to study and concentrate on reality.
As it goes by with my participating though seemingly halfheartedly.
Who are you?
I feel lonely but I am not alone,
I would try to fix that but I am failure prone.
Who am I? What am I?
What is the use of this life?
It is daily thoughts like these that bring me so much strife.
Why do I feel this way?
What am I looking for?
Is there something more to my existence?
I do not know, I cannot say so from reality I create distance.
I do not understand what makes men feel that having emotions equals to weakness. It brings vulnerability of course but that does not mean it makes you weak if you are able to put your self in a situation like that shouldn’t it be courageous?
I was doing fine got all confident and strong,
living alone being something I knew.
I met you and I fell deeper than I thought.
Got over you and realised I hadn’t gotten over you at all.
Now that you have gone I feel lonely again.
Being lonely was okay until I felt what I felt when I was with you.
Now when you are far gone I wish you felt the same way for me too.
"If you look in the face of evil, evils going to look right back at you"
Sister Jude - American Horror Story S02E13
This reminded me of something my grandmother told me once. When I was younger I used to go looking for ghosts because I was sure I had seen one: once my grandmother told me “stop looking for them or they will come looking for you.”
It hurts it always causes pain,
but I was always told “no pain no gain.”
I am fed up of being used,
people just trampling upon and by;
but maybe I might meet someone good,
If I don’t forget to try.
It takes courage to be kind.